The last few nights I have had trouble sleeping. Oh, that's an understatement. Since early February I have had trouble sleeping. "Oh a times, they are a changing" (Dylan). In the middle of the night I wake up, writing, shouting, stating my thoughts to the blank void of my bedroom ceiling. I keep thinking, I should be saying SOMETHING. I should be saying something important, something helpful, something encouraging. 
So here's a little bit of something, for wherever you are, whatever you are doing, however you may be feeling:

That's a little excerpt from HERE BE DRAGONS and it came to me, inspired, and I pray it draws your heart closer to the One who made you, who makes your arms strong, your feet firm, and your heart victorious.

Would you like a free book? Or a couple free books? They are all by clean science fiction and fantasy authors with a Christian worldview. 
Here's a link: https://storyoriginapp.com/bundles/97b669dc-1d57-11eb-b2b7-4fc259165361

AND

If you would be interested in purchasing any of my books at a discount of $.99 right now, they are on sale until December 3rd. Here are those links:

Insurrection: A Young Adult Science Fiction Fantasy (Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M8F5YZR/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_S5XLFbMMBDEW4

Incomplete: A Young Adult Science Fiction Fantasy (Insurrection Book 2)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MSABMCK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_G6XLFbF47962W

Indelible: A Young Adult Science Fiction Fantasy (Insurrection Book 3) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07229CDKC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_n7XLFbSCRCXPE

​Here Be Dragons
(An Insurrection story/standalone/Book 4)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0787PKJJF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Q7XLFbVDB4JQV

Earthshine: A Young Adult Science Fiction Fantasy (Insurrection Series/Standalone/ Book 5) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07J5X6FDL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C8XLFbDPHFKN8

The winner of the collaboration giveaway was Katy B. from Louisiana, with 2nd Prize as Teresa K from Indiana.

Thank you again, friends, for persevering in this journey with me. May you see miracles around you, may your heart be strong, may you be courageous, and may you act in peace with faith as your guide.

Treasures, islands, stars, curious songs, tesseracts, caves, and hidden fires...all wrapped nicely within a Kindle Paperwhite OR the runner-up prizes as part of the Thanksgiving giveaway a couple Christian Science Fiction/Fantasy writers and I are collaborating on for some amazing readers to win. Read through to the button below to see how you can win bonus entries and guaranteed prizes!

Grand Prize (1 winner): A brand new Kindle Paperwhite loaded with 6 eBooks from bestselling and award-winning authors of speculative fiction with a Christian worldview. ($157.93 Retail)

• A New Kindle Paperwhite – the thinnest, lightest model, now waterproof, with 8 GB of storage, Audible, and Bluetooth
• The Treasure of Capric by Brandon M Wilborn, an Amazon Kindle #1 Bestseller
• Wolf of The Tesseract by Christopher D Schmitz
• Insurrection by Kadee Carder
• The Seer by Erin R Howard
• Succession by Brett Armstrong
• A Star Curiously Singing by Kerry Kietz, winner of the Readers Favorite Gold Medal Award for Christian Science Fiction
• Amish Vampires in Space by Kerry Nietz (Just added)

2nd Prize (1 winner): A Paperback Bundle ($55.15 Retail)

• The Treasure of Capric (The King of The Caves Book 1) by Brandon M Wilborn
• Siren Silence: The Fate of Cpt. Bacchus (A King of The Caves Novella) by Brandon M Wilborn
• Wolf of The Tesseract (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 1) by Christopher D Schmitz
• Through the Darque Gates of Koth (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 2) by Christopher D Schmitz
• Amish Vampires in Space by Kerry Nietz (Just added)

3rd Prize (5 winners): An eBook Bundle ($15.96 Retail)

• The Treasure of Capric (The King of The Caves Book 1) by Brandon M Wilborn
• Siren Silence: The Fate of Cpt. Bacchus (A King of The Caves Novella) by Brandon M Wilborn
• Wolf of The Tesseract (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 1) by Christopher D Schmitz
• Through the Darque Gates of Koth (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 2) by Christopher D Schmitz
• Amish Vampires in Space by Kerry Nietz (Just added)

Update, 11/20/20: One of our authors has decided to sweeten the pot even more with another novel for each main prize level.
Click the button below to get your name in the pot!

Enter once per day until November 26, 2020, aka Thanksgiving. Winners chosen 11/27/20.

After you've entered, be sure to click the confirmation email!
Then you'll receive an email with instructions on how you can earn even more contest entries to increase your odds of winning and lock in secret bonus prizes!

My Insurrection series will also be on sale for $.99 per book from November 26-December 3rd. I will share those links when the sales go live. I don't do a lot of these promo posts, but my fellow authors and I are group-efforting posts to spread the word a bit more. Hope you will hang in there and maybe see if you can find a new book you are needing to read along the way!

Earlier this summer, my daughter was "learning" how to ride a bike. The streets in our neighborhood are wobbly and wonky. She asked me constantly, “Why is my bike tipping over?!” and “Why aren’t the streets smooth?!” And I told her the line I memorized from the first page of my driver’s manual:
Not all roads are straight and flat.
 
The first time I read that line in the manual, I laughed. Psh. How OBVIOUS. Not all roads are straight and flat.
​
But then, don’t we expect the roads to be straight and flat? The earth, after all, is not straight and flat, nor is your plotline. Or your heartbeat. If it were, you’d be dead.
 
Instead, we get wobbly and wonky, and you just have to learn how to navigate the curves.
See, she’s terrified of falling over. She wants to ride her bike “like a big girl” but at the same time she wants the process to be simple and easy.
 
Life has been moderately easy. Until the last few months. And I think that even in her little world, she’s feeling the shakiness. And in a big way, she became even more aware that falling over hurts. There was a little bump at the end of the driveway – she screamed. “I can’t do it!”
There was a pot hole around the corner. “I’m going to fall down!” she began to panic. She leaned precariously to the opposite side.
“Just put your foot down,” I stated. “Create balance.”
Through the whole ride, she continued to state her failures ahead of time, screamed about her inadequacies, and demanded assistance. At one dip in the road, I even pushed the back of her seat over a bump to show her that going over the bumps was easier if you went faster rather than slower.
 
When we got back to the house we sat down, eye to eye.
 
I asked her why she was so afraid of falling down, and she didn’t have an answer.
Sometimes, when you see that life is changing, you just feel anxious. Your awareness of your smallness grows. Even for the littles.
 
I know I use this verse often, but I find myself repeating it and exploring it with my children. They have many fears and anxieties. So we use this verse as our motto: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
 
And on that day, beside this fiery little spirit, those words made a little more sense. God built us with strong bodies, strong hearts, and strong spirits. He crafted us to solve problems, enabled our bodies to become stronger and more capable, and gave us humor and hope to rove these wandering roads.
 
He didn’t put us together as lumps of green goo. He didn’t make us cats, or gnats, or clay blobs. He didn’t make us to sit, afraid, timid, in the dark, crying and stuck.
 
He specifically asked his disciples, “Why do you have no faith?”
 
“That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him” (Mark 4:35-41)!
 
Jesus knew his plans: Morning meet-and-greet with the crowds on the shore. Afternoon boat tour across the lake. Nap. Evening gathering with the local town outcast. Normal day. The disciples follow along, unaware of the bigger picture (relate?) and suddenly they are in the middle of The Life of Pi and wondering where the tiger is. And somehow Jesus is asleep. Jesus knew the storm. He knew who could control the storm, he knew the power of the storm, and even further, he knew his ability to overcome the storm. He knew of different storms on the horizon.
 
Do you know how capable you are?
 
Do you know who made you, piece by piece, capable, competent, and purposed?
 
Before this storm occurred, Jesus had spoken to them. “Consider carefully what you hear,” he added. “With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them” (Mark 4:34-35).
 
Many things spread easily.
Smiles, laughter, silliness.
Tension, anger, frustration.
Panic, worry, blame.
Hope, grit, perseverance.
Faith.
 
With the measure you use, you will be given more. Are you focusing on the panic, the gripping fear of the unknown, and the uncertainty that you were unaware of before? OR are you focusing on the author of faith? Are you focusing on the Provider, the Guide, the King of all? The first and last, who knows the storms and has prepared you to face them. Or, possibly, he has prepared that storm to face you. Maybe you need to see hope, and darkness is where you will find it.
 
Because a shadow just means that there is light nearby.
 
If you act with hope, you will find more hope. If you act with great faith, with unity, with great perseverance, with kindness, with generosity… you may not always see the measure coming back. But it goes out and ripples onward.
 
And if you act in fear, if you give out panic, and anxiety, and if you give out criticism, and snide remarks, and blame…those make waves, too. Which waves do you want to spread? And what waves do you want to arrive at your feet?
 
You know what else? Jesus knew what lay beyond the storm. He knew his disciples would continue struggling with understanding. And they reacted similarly – they were even more shook than before. He controls the STORMS?! WHAT.
 
The tests show you who you are and whose you are. What lays beyond…that’s where you see faith walking on water. It’s not just the storm. It’s the changed life afterwards that shows who you are.
 
Some of my most anxious thoughts have been about what will happen “after” this pandemic. What will life be like on the other side? This has opened so many wide, broad doors to fear and anxiety. Let’s not go that way. Let’s instead, like Jesus did, stand up and call out that peace which surpasses all understanding. Let’s use our wit, our strong arms, our strong hearts, our strong spirits. “No matter how you move, always rise” (one of my Reebok shirts).
 
Regardless of what waves arrive, regardless of the road before you--
 
You are stronger than you know. You are more capable than you imagine. You were built to overcome the storm.
 
You were built to thrive.
 
Why are you so afraid?
 
Not every road is for the strong of heart. Or perhaps it is.



 ******

Have you entered the giveaway to win a KindlePaperwhite and lots of encouraging faith in fiction books? 
​

Amy Purdy's caption on one Instagram photo displays a twenty-one year-old girl in a white hospital gown, with a resilient smile on her face. She'd just had both of her legs amputated below the knees. Her words rang true then and they ring true now.
 
"In fact when I was wheeled into surgery, I gave myself three goals. 1. To never feel sorry for myself. 2. To snowboard that year and 3. When I figured this mess out, I vowed to help others. And I'm proud to say, that I accomplished all of them and ended up going further than I ever could have imagined. I didn't just snowboard, I won a medal in the Olympic/Paralympic Games. I didn't just help others, I have become one of the top requested motivational speakers in the country and started my own organization @adaptiveactionsports. But most importantly... I never ever gave up on myself. No matter what your circumstances are, don't ever give up on yourself. You are important and your contribution to this world and humanity is needed. You can be whatever you want to be. But there isn't anyone who is going to figure it out for you, you have to figure it out for yourself."
 
Battling meningitis, losing both kidneys, her spleen, and the hearing in her left ear, weighing eighty-three pounds, and at a two percent chance of survival, Amy Purdy proved to be one resilient cupcake. That same year she strapped on her snowboard. Three years later, she earned a bronze medal in the snowboardcross at the Paralympic Winter Games Sochi 2014. She’s continued moving forward, joining the Dancing With The Stars cast in their eighteenth season, which is where I first saw her dance with partner Derek Hough. I rooted for her every step of the way, gasping when she’d whirl around on the floor, and as Derek would toss her around like a graceful puppet. She held her own, all the way to runner-up. I voted for her, I gotta say! She never earned a score less than an 8 during the entire run.
Amy has spoken on TEDx talks and her speech has become the example from which others are advised to learn in order to present their speeches; she also has a New York Times bestselling book. “Borders are where the actual ends, but also where the imagination and the story begins,” Amy said in her TEDx talk. “Instead of looking at our challenges and limitations as something negative or bad, we can begin to look at them as blessings, magnificent gifts that can be used to ignite our imaginations and help us go further than we ever knew we could go.” Other accomplishments? She went on a speaking engagement tour with Oprah Winfrey, drove a pace car in the Daytona 500, and runs Adaptive Action Sports, a company which helps athletes compete in action sports. She had to create her own gear in order to continue snowboarding, and has used that knowledge to help others. She also competed in the Paralympic Winter Games PyeongChang in 2018, earning a silver medal in snowboardcross and a bronze in banked slalom.
 
Amy’s TEDx talk asks viewers, “If your life were a book and you were the author, how would you want your story to go?” She said after she left the hospital, she had to let go of the old Amy and embrace the new Amy.
 
You’ve got to admit, we humans like a good hero story. We like a guy who rises from the ashes. You’ve got some button—some button that engages your fears, your failures, your darkness—and you’ve also got the ability to quell them. The Not Good Enough seeks you to serve you. How will you greet it? How will you create your story? The building action drives those decisions you make. You get every opportunity to be the hero. “There's no need to be perfect to inspire others,” Amy wrote on an Instagram post. “Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.” Perhaps you’re sitting on the living room floor, staring at your laptop, illuminated in the dark, just like I am. Perhaps your insides have been trembling in fear. We rise. We rise up fearless, borderless, and creative. Perhaps you’ve been training your whole life just for this incredible moment. This new moment where you embrace your new day. “It’s not about breaking down borders. It’s about pushing off of them and seeing what amazing places they might bring us.”
 
See Amy’s TEDx talk here: http://amypurdy.com/speaker/
​

Do you like prizes? Well, do I have great news for you. A couple amazing science fiction/fantasy authors and I have collaborated on a neat giveaway so that YOU can win big. Check out the different prizes available. All you have to do is enter the giveaway and share with friends. When you refer friends and they enter, you get more entries to win! Check out this amazing deal:

PRIZES – Total retail value $289.88
Grand Prize (1 winner): A brand new Kindle Paperwhite loaded with 6 eBooks from bestselling and award-winning authors of speculative fiction with a Christian worldview.
A New Kindle Paperwhite – the thinnest, lightest model, now waterproof, with 8 GB of storage, Audible, and Bluetooth
The Treasure of Capric by Brandon M Wilborn, an Amazon Kindle #1 Bestseller
Wolf of The Tesseract by Christopher D Schmitz
Insurrection by Kadee Carder
The Seer by Erin R Howard
Succession by Brett Armstrong
A Star Curiously Rising by Kerry Kietz, winner of the Readers Favorite Gold Medal Award for Christian Science Fiction

2nd Prize (1 winner): A Paperback Bundle
· The Treasure of Capric (The King of The Caves Book 1) by Brandon M Wilborn
· Siren Silence: The Fate of Cpt. Bacchus (A King of The Caves Novella) by Brandon M Wilborn
· Wolf of The Tesseract (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 1) by Christopher D Schmitz
· Through the Darque Gates of Koth (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 2) by Christopher D Schmitz

3rd Prize (5 winners): An eBook Bundle
· The Treasure of Capric (The King of The Caves Book 1) by Brandon M Wilborn
· Siren Silence: The Fate of Cpt. Bacchus (A King of The Caves Novella) by Brandon M Wilborn
· Wolf of The Tesseract (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 1) by Christopher D Schmitz
· Through the Darque Gates of Koth (Wolves of the Tesseract Book 2) by Christopher D Schmitz




Bonus Guaranteed Prizes: Earned through referrals
· 3 referrals = Behind The Scenes audio and visual content from Brett Armstrong and Brandon M Wilborn
· 5 referrals = "The Alliance Military Guard Training Guide", a high intensity workout smuggled from Kadee Carder's Insurrection series.
· 7 referrals = FREE shipping on signed print copies at BrandonWilborn.com
· 9 referrals = A Free Audiobook from Christopher Schmitz

​

If you're any kind of alive these days, you're probably facing extraordinary changes in your daily life. You'll need a mindset to weather the ups and downs, and find your kingdom come amidst sunshine, pandemic, blessings, and challenges.

Looking for a method to manage the madness? 

Looking for some encouragement?

Looking for applicable tools to add to your life skills for handling stress, changes, and new terrain?

​Sign up below to get an email every day directly from me to you. Each day in the month of April you will receive encouragement, inspiration, and applicable tools to strengthen your mindset. These emails will provide about a 10 minute read, with a question section at the end to allow you to explore who you are and who you want to be.

This is free, from me to you. It is the content of my book Kingdom Come. So if you want to skip the daily email and just grab the book, you can do that. But if you want a daily little tidbit, drop in below and register now! Emails begin April 1.
​

Author Krysten Lindsay Hager has shared with me in the past about her amazing stories, and I'm so excited to host her today as her latest book releases. 

Kadee asked me to write about my favorite scene in the book and one of my favorites is Cecily at her first magazine photo shoot and she feels totally out of her element. She’s overwhelmed when she hears the magazine people gossiping about a bigger name model also there because she feels like if this model, Scarlett, can’t win them over, then how could she? Then Cecily overhears them questioning if she’s really qualified to be there—something she has already worried about herself.

I think we all go through moments like that with imposter syndrome. It’s not uncommon to feel you don’t belong somewhere or didn’t deserve something even if you’ve worked hard for it. So, having Cecily doubt herself, and then hearing those exact doubts confirmed, is everyone’s nightmare. She goes through panic initially, but after a talk with the other models, Scarlett and Neneh, she keeps going. She fights through her fear and goes on to do the best job she can do and winds up impressing the magazine people because of her acting ability. Pushing through her fear was one thing, but bringing what she could offer to the shoot made the very doubters see how capable she was.
​
Cecily walked in doubtful, went through fear, but came out better than ever because she stayed professional and learned what she brought to the table. I loved seeing her growth in this scene and also seeing the other models share their difficult times in modeling. You also see the other models’ knowledge of the business side of the industry come out. These other models are playing the long game in terms of business growth and I think that’s inspiring as well. I hope other people will be inspired by Cecily’s journey as they laugh and cry with her.

Where are you from? What has been your favorite place to live?
I’m from Michigan, but have lived in several different states and even in Europe. I would have to say of my top three favorite places they would be Michigan, Ohio, and Portugal.

You finally have an evening free to spend any way you want. Money is no object. Where do you go? What would you do?
Okay, if money is no object then I’m going shopping! Particularly to a bookstore and someplace with cute stationery products like journals and other fun office stuff. Then home to watch a good movie and finish up the night with a mystery novel.

What do you think your greatest weakness is? (writing or in general)
How much time ya got? I guess I would say tend to get overwhelmed easily.

(LOL! I think we can all relate!)

What do you think is your greatest attribute? (writing or in general)
Being able to cheer people up and make them laugh in their darkest hour.

Do you have any regrets?
I regret not calling people out on bad behavior. I tend to swallow things and worry, what if no one believes me, and just hold it all inside.

Do you have any bad habits?
I’m messy.

What has been your greatest adventure to date?  
Moving overseas was quite the adventure. We moved to a European island for three years. Thankfully, I decided to finish and submit my thesis the semester before we left since I got to the island, but my computer didn’t get there until four months later! I would have missed my deadline by months had I not made sure to finish it early.

What is your most favorite moment from this book?  
I love seeing Cecily get to embark on her acting and modeling dreams and her relationship with the pop star, Andrew, is so sweet. I also enjoy watching him learning the best way to deal with the anxiety he has with his singing career.

What is one takeaway you would like readers to get from this book?
I hope the readers see that it’s important to stay true to yourself. In the book you see how even having your dreams come true—whether it be the dream career or whatever it is that they think will make them feel complete—might not be all that they imagine. Andrew seems like he has the dream life, but he’s dealing with anxiety that’s taking over. Cecily sees these models who look like they have it made and yet they’re dealing with a lot themselves with critics online and in the fashion world. No one has it easy, but with the right foundation you can get through the storms.

​About The New Book:
In Over Her Head: Lights, Camera, Anxiety (The Cecily Taylor Series) by Krysten Lindsay Hager
Young Adult Romantic Comedy from Clean Reads

Cecily wants a big life, but can she handle it?

Cecily feels like she has it all: great best friends, the beginnings of a career as a model/actress, and she’s dating her favorite singer, Andrew Holiday. Then Cecily’s best friend Lila begins to ditch her every time Lila’s boyfriend calls. Cecily feels lost, but she and Andrew begin connecting more and she’s never been in a relationship where she felt so understood. Andrew even begins to confide in her about his anxiety. Soon Cecily experiences her own anxiety on a magazine photo shoot, but she manages to impress the magazine staff. Just when it seems like all her dreams are coming true, everything comes crashing down when a photo of Andrew with another girl appears online. He swears nothing happened, but Cecily is crushed. She feels like she’s lost two of the people closest to her.
Was her perfect relationship real or was she in over her head?

Excerpt:
 “Good luck at the photo shoot tomorrow,” he said. “You’ll be great.”
I stared out the window on the ride back to the hotel taking in all the sites. As I walked into the hotel, I felt a new air of confidence. Instead of just reading about someone going out with a pop star to some fabulous rooftop hotel restaurant and being in the big city, I was living it. This was my life and not some YA book heroine’s. Tomorrow I was off on a modeling shoot. I was living a dream and proving how I was ready for a big life. This was my destiny. I could do this.
****
My alarm went off and at the same time an alarm went off in my brain saying, no, I could not do this. What was I thinking? Me, model? That’s where people take photos of you for the sole purpose of other people looking at them, which encouraged judgement and evil comments. People don’t just keep those comments to themselves anymore. Oh no, they grab their phone or laptop or whatever device helps them spew out unhelpful and cruel comments on people’s appearances online for all the world to see.

My stomach felt like spewing all over the nice hotel sheets I was wrapped in.  Why did I ever think I was up for this? Those strangers online would destroy me within seconds. Girls like Harlow who were born with an undeniable beauty could do stuff like this and even then, I had seen strangers criticize her online when she posted selfies.

Being anxious always made all my senses go nuts. I ate two slices of toast and then my stomach did a weird flipping thing. Oh no, not today. Looking over at the clock I realized it was almost time for us to leave. Come on, stomach. You’re fine. Just relax and…nope, time to hit the bathroom. Why can’t I just be a big girl and go to this stupid shoot which most girls would kill to do without my stomach freaking out?

Purchase:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRYS65N/
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07VRYS65N
Amazon Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07VRYS65N
Amazon Japan: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B07VRYS65N
Amazon IN: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07VRYS65N
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Krysten+Lindsay+Hager
Book Depository: https://bit.ly/2ZuKQun
IndieBound: https://bit.ly/2Yt5t4S
Book One: https://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Come-True-Cecily-Taylor-ebook/dp/B079S3KJSH


Author Bio: Krysten Lindsay Hager writes about friendship, self-esteem, fitting in, frenemies, crushes, fame, first loves, and values. She is the author of True Colors, Best Friends...Forever?, Next Door to a Star,  Landry in Like, Competing with the Star, Dating the It Guy, and Can Dreams Come True. True Colors, won the Readers Favorite award for best preteen book and the Dayton Book Expo Bestseller Award for children/teens. Best Friends…Forever won the Readers’ Favorite Silver Medal. Competing with the Star is a Readers' Favorite Book Award Finalist. Landry in Like is a Literary Classics Gold Medal recipient.
Krysten's work has been featured in USA Today, The Flint Journal, the Grand Haven Tribune, the Beavercreek Current, the Bellbrook Times, Springfield News-Sun, Grand Blanc View, Dayton Daily News and on Living Dayton. 

Check out Krysten's other award-winning work!
Website: http://www.krystenlindsay.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krystenlindsay/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KrystenLindsayHagerAuthor
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/krystenlindsay/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KrystenLindsay

In the first two books of the Six Pack series, my characters didn’t get much time to enjoy themselves. They spent their time in hiding, in danger, in stressful situations. Whenever they got the chance to just sit around and chat, it wasn’t what you would call a time to relax.
 
That changed when I included a scene in my third book, Six Pack: Uprising, which featured my young characters going through a commencement ceremony. This scene was probably my favorite one to write. They got to dress up in fancy clothes, they had a wonderful meal, enjoyed music (minor spoiler: two of my young heroes got to share their musical talents) and simply had the chance to enjoy each other’s company in a pleasant setting.
 
I think back to The Hunger Games series and how those books partly inspired my writing. What I appreciated the most about Suzanne Collins’ writing was how she built tension. However, I also liked the scene in her third book, Mockingjay, in which Finnick and Annie get married. Though Mockingjay is a book in which Collins puts her characters through a lot of difficult, stressful situations, I appreciated that she added at least one scene in which there was joy, a cause for celebration.
 
I thought it was important to have a similar scene in my Six Pack series. Though I don’t go quite as dark as Collins goes, I’m not exactly being gentle with my characters. I think all characters deserve to have a moment in which they can experience simple joys of life, rather than going through one stressful or dangerous situation to the next.
 
This entire series has been a labor of love and made me appreciate what authors go through. Though I’ve spent many years as a writer, I never experienced what it was like to be an author. But I’ve found the journey rewarding.
 
And the way I wrote reminded me that, while we all go through a lot of stressful situations in life, there are always the moments in which we get to experience joy and times of celebration.
 
It’s easy for an author to think your characters must always be put through the worst – but, once in a while, it’s OK to have them enjoy the best.

​Though the Underground Network has lost a lot, its leaders believe there may be ways to bring down President Douglas Irons and the Novusordo government. Tyler Ward and his friends are more determined than ever to take action and break the control the president has over the citizens.
 
But more must be answered than how they will accomplish their objectives, even with the superpowers they have. They must ask themselves who they can trust — even within the Network’s ranks. They must ask themselves who might become new allies — even if they work for the government. Most of all, they must ask themselves how much they are willing to sacrifice — even if it means self-sacrifice.
*********************************************************************
The Six Pack Series:
It all started with a drink – a drink that gave Tyler Ward and five of his friends superpowers. Now they must figure out how their new powers can change society.

But who can they trust?

Who has their best interests in mind and who has a bigger agenda?

And what cost comes with change?

The young adult, science fiction/dystopian series is published by Clean Reads.

​B.W. Morris is a longtime writer for small-town newspapers who put his inner comic book geek to work through writing novels. He has published two books in the Six Pack series with the third to be released soon, and has written the Arrowverse Elseworld, which you may read at his website at bwmorrisauthor.com. Born in Texas but grew up in Colorado, he has lived in New Mexico, Oklahoma and currently resides in Kingman, Kansas.

​Greg Weisman, Suzanne Collins, Stan Lee, George Orwell and Conor Friedersdorf all influenced his writing. Morris is a fan of the Young Justice animated series, the Arrowverse shows on the CW Network, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Star Wars films and more graphic novels than he can keep track. He volunteers his time for the Kingman County Humane Society.
 
Follow B.W. Morris on Twitter: https://twitter.com/sixpackwriter
Visit his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/bwmorrisauthor/
Stop by his website: bwmorrisauthor.com
Email him with questions about his work at bwmorris@mail.com.

People usually go to the gym for fitness rather than therapy. For me, it was the place to lift heavy weights and lift the anxiety pressing upon my spirit. The gym was my therapy. Body Combat, the treadmill, the weight rack, they stood ready to greet me every day with open arms. While my heart broke from dreams slowly shattering before me, my arms and mind grew stronger. The gym became my release, my freedom, my success. While I couldn’t convince the world to buy my stories, I could convince my fists to grip those heavy weights and defy gravity.

In November 2018 I took brave steps and became certified in BodyFlow, a LesMills program of yoga, tai chi, and pilates. As I taught classes, I realized that people come to the gym for strength building rather than therapy. There are a few special people who come specifically for Flow, for stretching, for relaxing, but most want the sweat and then head to work. So I noticed that one of my favorite programs, which had made a big difference in my Monday routine, called CX Worx, lasted half an hour rather than the hour that most other programs do, and I noticed how I felt when I missed it. CX works the core from the knees to the neck. The other trainer at the gym, Connie, who had encouraged and mentored me throughout my Flow training, mentioned I should use CX as part of my training for fitness, and to give CX certification a shot.

I recalled Flow training, where one of the girls attending had stated that she had first been certified in CX because after she’d had her first baby, she knew her core would need the most work. She used the program to repair the problem. And maybe this is obvious. And maybe I had been saying this to myself all along since I was a kid – I knew that as an adult female I would have to work very hard to have a strong core and not have an ongoing-looking baby bump. Lower abs, mommas. You feel me. And then something clicked. Use the program as a tool. The more I taught Flow, the more I saw lasting results in myself. Maybe I could offer that to myself and others with CX.

However, when I looked at Les Mills training times for CX, there was only one offered in Texas in 2019, in Houston (about an eight-hour drive), and it was in the middle of February, when my hubs would be in a community theatre show. Can’t do it.

So the next Monday during CX, I yanked that band and I tugged at the weights and my heart did flip flops. Connie’s bright smile through it all inspired me. I said a prayer: God, if you want me to teach this too, then make it available. I’ll show up here and do what I can, but if you want this to go further, show me what to do.

Five or so days passed. On a whim I checked the Les Mills training calendar again. There, like a shining star, stood one new training date, April 27th, in Austin. Two hours away.

A couple weeks continued by, as I repeated to myself that I would not stress about the New Things To Come. Everything in its time; what will be, will be, you know. Then Connie announced she was pregnant! Ah! Yay, so exciting. And then I realized: I’m going to have to sub! Ah! Finding myself a copy of a CX works training video so I could begin to shadow her in class, I explored the first couple tracks and had to pause the video. WHAT HAVE I DONE. Connie’s class is not like this! This is mega intense!  I said to myself. Hands on hips, I inhaled. Sweat poured down my temples. Gulping down some water, I perched on the edge of the bathtub. Quiet. Heart pounding. This is hard.

And then a small voice said, You’d get bored if it were easy.

So.

Here we are. Four weeks away.

I went through the video again this morning, recognizing my weakness, demarcating my resolve. I may not be good enough. But I’ll show up.

I have to be able to do a three to five minute hover, also called a plank.

I can’t do it yet, but I will show up and work for it.

As the trainer on the video stated: Fitness isn’t about perfection, it is about progress.

So we progress. I hope you will progress with me. What goals are you working for? If it were easy, it would get boring. Let’s make new moves, and voyage into what was truly meant to be. And soon, people will come to my classes for fitness, clarity, and therapy. I will be strong so others can be strong. Let the games begin.

Stop by Arrows and Oaks on Saturday, January 12th from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM for a cozy book signing! Two new books have been released in paperback by my publisher, so stop by for your own signed copies, while grabbing a spot by the fire and the luxurious bath and body supplies. Published by Clean Reads, the young adult action adventures are thrilling for readers of all ages, fourteen and up, and offer an inspiring journey of ‘what if.’

The last thing Saylor McTavish remembers is a cry for help. Now she’s fighting for her life. Deep within a mysterious island, strange things are happening and an army of fire reigns.

Banding together with her closest friends, she escaped abuse at the Oak Point Girl’s Home and fled across the high seas, only to end up a prisoner again, this time at the mercy of the Alliance Military Guard.  They are at war and now so is she.

​Follow Saylor as she unlocks the dark secrets of the island, learns to wield high-tech weaponry, and ultimately faces an enemy bigger than herself.  Will she find the strength to overcome her past or will she discover the power to be the hero the world needs?

Copies of INSURRECTION, INCOMPLETE, EARTHSHINE and non-fiction KINGDOM COME will be available for purchase, as well as freebie-giveaways! Arrows and Oaks is located at 1510 Indian Creek Dr, Brownwood, Texas. Stop by for your one-stop shop for bath and body supplies, lotions, hand-made goat-milk soap, and enter into the grand prize drawing for a comfy evening at home with your own personalized gifts. See more at https://www.facebook.com/arrowsandoaks.

My good friend Saylor MacTavish has been wielding high-tech weaponry, dodging villainry, and globe-trotting with her fellow Alliance crewmates for the past two years in digital form...and now her story has finally come to print in books one AND five of the Insurrection series! "Insurrection" and "Earthshine" are NOW AVAILABLE in print from your favorite book retailers.
​
Insert huge squeal here!

Now's a fantastic time of year to purchase the gift of adventure for any loved one on your gift list. From best friends to co-workers, teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and teenagers, the Insurrection books will take readers to a daring new tomorrow. Join Saylor in her kingdom of fire by clicking here:

Insurrection from Amazon

Insurrection from Barnes & Noble

Earthshine from Amazon

Earthshine from B&N

For my *fabulous* readers, I have an exciting offer for you: I'm grabbing some first-run copies and will sign them just for you.  With this special offer, you get a discounted version of the books plus a special freebie as a thank you from me. Simply CLICK HERE to grab those discounted books! I'm shutting down this offer midnight on Thursday, December 13th, 2018.

Do you have a special someone who needs some adventure? Christmas is just around the corner and we all need some tropical time off! 

"Insurrection" kicks off a trilogy where we meet Saylor as a sixteen-year old orphan. The last thing Saylor McTavish remembers is a cry for help. Now she’s fighting for her life. Deep within a mysterious island, strange things are happening and an army of fire reigns.

Banding together with her closest friends, she escaped abuse at the Oak Point Girl’s Home and fled across the high seas, only to end up a prisoner again, this time at the mercy of the Alliance Military Guard. They are at war and now so is she.

Follow Saylor as she unlocks the dark secrets of the island, learns to wield high-tech weaponry, and ultimately faces an enemy bigger than herself. Will she find the strength to overcome her past, or will she discover the power to be the hero the world needs?

Fans of Madeleine L'Engle, Marie Lu, James Dashner, Suzanne Collins, Marissa Meyer, and the Netflix Original Series' "Stranger Things" would enjoy this young adult science fiction action adventure.

Earthshine stands alone as a dual-perspective science fiction mission, where fear may be a liar, but hope can be a monster.
Saylor single-handedly saved the world from a devastating solar flare...and it nearly killed her. Now her father's Alliance Military Guard must track down pirated tech, missing ships, and a rogue billionaire, and they’ve requested a reluctant Saylor’s help.

Tucker spent a year training the rookie Guardsmen. They call themselves Dragons. He calls them defiant. Dispatched across the ocean on a mission to retrieve AMG's bootlegged tech, he rallies Saylor to overcome her fears and return to the field by his side.

Working together wielding unprecedented tech and determined to defy their destinies, the two wrangle missing ghosts, brunt force betrayal, and the swagger of power. What lies beneath the earth just might save it.

Standing on top of the world changes a person. So does dying.
*****

Thanks to all my friends and readers who have taken the dive in to the Alliance world! I hope it brings some thrill to your life and challenges you to face your own missions. <3

Cindy Ervin Huff has come to share a little with us today about her latest novel! She's a fabulous Clean Reads author and I thought my readers would enjoy hearing about this new release and Cindy's 'why' behind her writing:

I have been haunted by the idea for my Contemporary Romance for a while. As a write I see stories all around me. Some ideas flit about in my mind and fade to nothingness, but New Duet rooted itself in my authors’ heart.

The idea of a romance between two wounded people intrigued me.  The “what if” moment that was the foundation for the story happened a few years prior to writing the book. I was part of a worship team. My author’s mind went a wandering as I look at our group. The vision for the first chapter began to take shape. It was based on an actual experience many years prior. A missionary was at an elder’s meeting and dropped dead from an aneurysm. It shook the church. He knew he had it and it was a matter of time before it took his life.

What if in my story it was the worship leader who died during the service. And what if his wife was on the team and didn’t know he had an aneurysm. What if she was abused. That’s when Isabella Wilson introduced herself to me. An artist shoved into a mold of her late husband’s making. She travels to Aurora, Illinois to live with her sister and find herself.

 Then ‘what if' her love interest is a disabled soldier. Wounded Warrior Dan Sweeney is not the hunky guy you often meet between the pages of a romance. But he is sweet and caring and suffers from PTSD. Dan has a prosthetic and struggles to be a whole man. Add a service dog and life is interesting for him. Both Isabella and Dan are on a journey to find themselves. Isabella searches for her artist muse and Dan must make peace with his new normal.

This is a character-driven story. The plot is the thread the characters evolve on. They are like caterpillars changing into butterflies by the end of their respective journeys.

*****

Cindy Ervin Huff is an award-winning author who writes historical and contemporary romance. She serves as a mentor for Word Weavers International and is the founding member and past president of Word Weavers Aurora, Illinois. Helping fledgling writers improve their craft is important to her. Jubilee Writer, her biweekly blog shares writing tips and gives new authors a platform to be spotlighted. Cindy is also a member of ACFW and alumni of the Christian Writers Guild.

www.jubileewriter.wordpress.com

Facebook Author Page: https ://www.facebook.com/author.huff11/
Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/author/cindyervin
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/8029703-cindy-ervin-huff
Twitter: https:// twitter.com/CindyErvinHuff
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cindyervinhuff/

******

Isabella Melinda Wilson has been squeezed into the music ministry model of her controlling husband’s making. Before she can leave him, he leaves her a guilt-ridden widow. Her mother-in-law is no comfort and presses the guilt button at every turn. Isabella flees to her sister’s home in search of her own identity and a new beginning.

Dan Sweeney has one goal. Be as normal as possible. After losing a leg, some fingers and his self-worth, he needs his service dog Brutus to help keep his PTSD at bay. Career-less and clueless about the future, he struggles to put his life back together.

Isabella isn’t looking for a new relationship and Dan feels unworthy of one. Can these two broken people heal into one whole love?

*****

An excerpt for your entertainment:

She reached the driver’s side door of the red Dodge Durango
first. Ron closed the gap between. His breath brushed across the
top of her head, “I’m driving.”
She faced him feeling for the handle and pulling the door
open.
Anger flashed in his dark brown eyes. Melinda stood her
ground.
“You have one of your migraines. I’ll drive.” She climbed in
before he could grab her arm.
“Fine.” Ron moved to the passenger’s side, slammed the
door, and leaned back on the gray leather headrest. “It’s so bright.”
His forearm covered his face.
“Here’s your sunglasses.” Melinda took them from the visor
before gazing into the rearview mirror. The gravel driveway
flowed beneath the tires. Her chest tightened and her hand shook
as the gears shifted into drive.
Ron adjusted the sunglasses. “Can you drive a little faster?”
“No.” A tremble escaped her lips. White knuckles gripped
the steering wheel. Fear wrestled her confident tone. “We’ve got
time.”
“You’d better be right.” Ron massaged his temples with his
index fingers. “If we’re late, it’s all on you.”
Typical.
Everything always seemed on her lately. Always her fault,
always her problem. Blame had been the morning focus.
“What’d you do with my socks?”
“Why haven’t you folded the laundry?”
“Did you break the iron? I wouldn’t hand off this shirt to the
homeless.”
“You forgot to charge my phone again.”
His harsh words produced her own headache which found
solace in a bottle of pain reliever.
The silent treatment was a welcome change. Sweet worship
music streamed into the car comforting her soul, relaxing her
thoughts. Peace flowed from the melody. She turned the wheel and
panic assailed her. Her wrist was bare. I left my witnessing bracelet on
the bathroom sink. The colorful beads used to share the gospel. Oh,
how she hated it. He gets so mad when I forget it. Please, please don’t
notice. Another reminder of her failure in the ministry.
“Turn off the radio. The music’s killing my head.”
“Maybe we should return home and you can rest.”
Ron raised his head, lifted his sunglasses, and glared. “And
give you another excuse. Six Sundays, Melinda, six times sitting in
the pews and not helping with worship. Well, my migraine will not
be your seventh excuse.”
Melinda’s knuckles ached on the steering wheel. Tight lips
held back tears. Arriving at church in the middle of an argument
would make things worse later. God forbid anyone would see them
arguing. That would be my fault too. She hated being in ministry, on
the worship team, and under a magnifying glass in this
congregation. If I don’t get away soon, I’ll go insane. God forgive me.
Ron made no mention of the headache once they arrived at
the church. His spotless dress shirt and neat pressed Dockers (no
thanks to her imperfect ironing ability) added to his confident air.
His look had changed over the past few years from casual jeans and
collar-length hair to short, moussed hair and black dress shoes.
Ron wanted her to get a makeover. The CD sales had
switched her husband’s focus. When they first married, Ron asked her to grow her hair out. “Sweetheart, the Scripture says long hair
is a woman’s glory.” Now a file folder of acceptable hairstyles
created by the church secretary lay in the bottom of her underwear
drawer.

Ebook only $.99 for the next 24 hours!!
Click here to grab your copy of New Duet on Amazon

Paperback copy of New Duet on Amazon

Today is RELEASE DAY for Earthshine! Go grab your copy on Amazon! Wooooo!

For the faint-hearted. For the disillusioned. For the lonely. For the seeker. For the adventurous. For the lost. For the found.​

*****


May you be the hero. May you face the fear with a grin on your face. May you overcome the odds. And may you be somebody’s Earthshine.

My fellow Clean Reads author BW Morris allowed me to visit on his blog the other day. He let me share about the idea of what makes a superhero and how that relates to our real lives. I hope you'll read on and check it out. And share with a friend who could use some encouragement.

Happy reading, friends!

Chapter One

~ Saylor ~
Monsters

Sitting on my stool at the dry cleaner’s, my foot tapped
along the ground in a steady rhythm. The humid, thick air
wrapped around my face and up into my hair like a bath towel. I
grinned a little. My heart thrummed. It was safe. Not deadly. I
haven’t heard of many cleaning-related deaths. One guy in the back
burned his hand real bad because he shut the press lid too quick,
but I don’t do the presses. Just the buttons. Unbuttoning the shirt
buttons, buttoning the pant buttons, zipping the zippers, pinning
on the tags. Tag it, bag it, and repeat. It’s simple. Again, not deadly.
​
It’s practical. Comfortable.

The wooden, swinging door to the back thrust open toward
me. A screeching stack of hangers filled with clothes, covered in
plastic, swayed along the rail mounted to the ceiling.

“Rack these and you can go,” Crystal called out from behind
the bags as the door shut between us. “Slow night. I’m closing.”

Her voice faded behind the rattling of the steam-powered presses.
Nobody had come in for the last half hour; surprising, for a
Wednesday night. Crystal was right. The hand of the clock on the
wall ticked to seven. Finishing up the last tag on the shirt, I tossed it
in the silky red bag. Drawing the string tight and yanking it into a
knot, I pulled the lumpy sack up from its stand. Red meant rush.

Following where Crystal exited, I ducked around the plastic
bagged laundry and tossed the red bag into the big red bin by the
metal wash tubs. The last of the presses hissed, winding down, and
the back room seemed to sigh in relief. Usually the area rang with
conversations of the ladies cleaning and pressing. They’d gone
already, booking it to dinner with their families.

Crystal was probably in the office counting the registers.

Shoving back through the door, I wound over to the front
entry and glanced out the windows. Clouds made the sunset hazy.
Three small trees lined the edge of the parking lot, their flimsy
branches and leaves flopping about in the soft breeze. Golden
flecks of light pranced upon the blacktop in the empty parking lot. I
snapped the lock on the door. Closed. A burly black truck rumbled
into the drive, gleaming black rims on the tires tagging the
shadows.

Tucker.

I couldn’t help but grin then, and tossed a wave to the dim
interior. Holding up a finger, I spun on my heels and ran to the
clothes rack.

“Crystal!” I called, grabbing the heavy hangers. “My ride is
here.”

Ten bags for customers whose last names began with M
later, Crystal slumped through the swinging door. “What’d you
say?”

“My ride’s here!”

“Oh. Alright. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay. See you!” Yanking my thick time card out of its slot
on the wall, I penciled in the time for the day.

“What shift you working?” she asked.
“Early!” I whined. “I’m the six crowd. Have to open.”

“Fun for you!”

“You know it.”

“I bet Earl brings coffee.”

“Eh. I guess it helps.” I shrugged. The lights from Tucker’s
truck shone through the front doors.

“Nice truck.”

“Yeah. Nicer looking driver inside.” I jiggled my eyebrows
at her.

She giggled. “You go get it, girl.”

“You bet I will.”

“Here, I’ll lock the door behind you.”

After last waves and condolences for opening so early the
next morning, I ducked out of the glass entryway and flung open
the truck’s passenger door. Tucker hunched over a pile of papers
stacked up in his lap and propped against the steering wheel.

“Whoa.” I breathed out. “That’s a lot of paper, yo.”

“Hm.” Tucker tapped a pencil against his forehead. He
squinted at his other hand’s grip on the wheel.

“Are—hey? Hello? Everything okay?” Hefting myself up
into the body of the truck, I hauled the door shut behind me. Cool
air drifted around us. I sighed, liquifying against the soft seat. “Air
conditioning.” I breathed in the sweet, crisp wind. A last beam of
sunlight meandered across the dashboard, renewing the cab with
the fragrance of freshly ground coffee beans. Wiggling my
throbbing toes against the soles inside my hot shoes, a shudder ran
through my spine.

“Sorry.” Tucker glanced up. “I have to finish a project before
we can grab dinner.”

Dinnah. Dinnah with Tuckah. I’ll take it. His lovely Aussie
accent. Say anything, Tuckah. “What kind of project?” I asked.

“Hold up.” He held out the eraser end of the pencil for a
moment, then sighed, and scrawled several sentences on the paper.

While he finished, I buckled my seat belt, untucked my
white polo shirt from my khaki pants, and re-did my ponytail into
a fabulously unkempt messy bun.

Tucker gathered all the papers, shuffling them into a huge
stack, and dumped them into a box in the back seat. “Have you
talked to your dad today?”

“No. But he’d be happy to know you have a huge box in
your back seat.”

Tucker huffed out a laugh as he twisted back to face the
steering wheel. “Too right.”

“You don’t need a back seat in a truck, Thompson,” I
mimicked Dad’s stern concern. “A vehicle serves as transport and
nothing else.”

Tucker furrowed one eyebrow, lowering his voice. “When
you take Saylor out in that truck, imagine I’m right there in the
back seat.”

Giggling, I rolled with it. “Is he in the back seat? In the box?”

Tucker’s humor loosened then, and the one eyebrow rose.

“What? Is he in the box?” I glanced back at the box. “Did
you kill somebody?”

He rolled his shoulders back, and sniffed. “Let’s eat.” He
forced a smile onto his chiseled jawline. “Starved. Absolutely
ravenous.”

“Did—did you kill a guy?”

Tucker’s emerald glance rolled over to me and then behind
him as he reversed the truck away from the front of the building.
“I’m in the mood for pasta. Something saucy. And bread.”

****

His hunched shoulders swelled into tense arms, gripping his
menu. In the three months he’d been working with the new
recruits, he had spent a lot of hours in the fitness center. Those
muscles on the sides of the neck, the perfect place to rest a head or
nuzzle a kiss, had become more defined along with his shoulders.
His camouflage uniform jacket didn’t hide it.

A single candle in a red glass holder flickered between us
upon a red and white checkered plastic tablecloth. Only a block
down from the dry cleaner’s, we hadn’t had a chance to say much.
But the waiter would be bringing our water glasses any time and
Tucker just stared at the menu like he wanted everything on it.

Maybe he did. That was entirely possible.

“What’s in the box, Thompson?” I breathed out the question.

“The tears of my ancestors.”

“Wow.”

The waiter stalked up then, carrying two ruby jars filled
with icy liquid. Setting them down before us, he offered a quick
smile. “Have you decided what you’ll be having this evening?” He
readied a notepad from the black apron at his waist.

Tucker tossed the menu onto the table, the cardboard
slapping onto the plastic. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” Tucker ran a palm
across his forehead and jerked his head my way. His eyes stared
through me. “Here’s—let’s—I need to—”

Tucker slid his chair out while the waiter stared. Tucker
grabbed my wrist and heaved me toward the door. I mouthed a
silent “apologies” to the stunned man, as the muggy evening air
filtered around us. Tucker charged onward, until he stopped short
at the bench on the front porch. Robotically, he sat, stiff, on the
edge of the metal furniture.

“Are you alright?” I asked. “Seriously, what is in the box?”

“I have to leave.”

“You should eat dinner. I think you’re having a hangry
moment. Hungry and angry. All at once. Hangry.”

“It’s not like that.”

“We all get cranky. The waiter—”

“I’ve been called up for duty overseas. On the seas. Away.
Not sure exactly where we’re going.”

My tongue melted into the roof of my mouth. “The—why?
What?” All the questions I wanted to ask clung to my ribs, sticky
with dread.

“We need to find—” He stopped, licking his lips and then
clamped them shut. “I’m not supposed to say. It’s a high-level
clearance assignment.”

“Do you know who’s going with you?”

“Your dad will be assigning duty recs tomorrow.” He
heaved out a heavy breath through his nose.

“But. You. You just—for how long? How long will you be
gone?” As the sun sank behind the trees, so, too, my heart tugged
into the horizon.

“Until we finish the assignment.”

“You can’t tell me?”

His palms wrapped around my cheeks, guiding my eyes to
his. “If you were to join us, I could tell you everything. And we
wouldn’t be apart again. We’d be side by side on the field.
Together. Working as a team for a greater good. And I wouldn’t
have to garner secrets or confidences or keep information from you.
You’d be right there.”

“I can’t. I won’t.” Shuddering away, I had to break free from
his warm, pervasive grip. He’d have me sunk in an instant. The
chill helped. “You know I can barely walk by myself. I’ve spent
months, months, getting to where I can stand up for an hour at a
time without leg braces.” Anger welled up, underlining all the
words as they tumbled out.

“You’d see it all for yourself.” He continued his line of
thought, ignoring my argument. “You wouldn’t miss out on
anything, because you would be on the front.”

“Can you not hear what I’m saying?” I cried out. “You hear
me, Tucker. If there’s one thing I love about Tucker Thompson, it’s
that he hears me in all the noise. No matter what I said, you heard
it.”

“That’s the thing.” He pleaded back, just as sunk in his own
case. “You will be heard. By getting back out there, standing on
your own, you’d be free.”

“Stop. You haven’t seen me broken. I’m broken. Remember
those months you traveled the world doing missions for Alliance?
While you were out exploring, I recovered from nearly dying.
Wheelchairs, leg braces, endless dark nights where my voice
refused to meld with my mind. The words refused to come out, but
they’ve started to come back. But look at me now. I’m done with
adventure!”

“You aren’t, Saylor! Remember the nanocomputers! I
brought them back for you. Those weeks when we injected the
serum of nanocomputers back into your blood, they changed you
for good. You are a whole new person.”

“No! I am not. I’ve lost.”

“Why do you continue arguing a moot point? Quit being
dramatic about the pain and use it. Move into it. Make it a stepping
stone and not a crutch.”

“Easy to say.” I spat out the words. He doesn’t hear me. The
idea drove burning and blurry tears into my eyes.

Tucker stepped back. He studied his shoes and lowered his
voice. “You need to come with us, Saylor.” He planted his balled-
up fists in his pockets.

A man and woman walked up to the front door, eyeing us
discreetly. I offered a tight smile as they entered the restaurant.

Tucker sank onto the bench.

“You might want the old Saylor to come with you. The one
who was reckless and bent on destruction. She stole a boat and
convinced everyone she could save the day. That Saylor didn’t
know her limits. She didn’t realize how tall the heights truly are.”

“You have—”

“But I’m not Yesterday Saylor anymore.” I held up a palm to
stop his beautiful voice from bickering. “I’ve built big walls and I
ripped them down. I did my hard thing: saved the world from a
global wave of solar radiation. And it struck me down. I cannot do
it again.”

“Why do you believe that lie?” His voice breathed out
question after question, unhearing, misunderstanding.

I can’t face any more giants. “Some people face death and it
makes them stronger. It makes them want to live each day fully
and do big things. But I did those big things. I gave away my time
for people who hate me now, and who say I’m this despicable
creature.”

“You’re not despicable. Why do you care about what
strangers think of you anyway?”

“Stop. You are not listening to the words coming out of my
mouth.”

“I’m hearing you.”

“No.” Quaking in my white tennis shoes, I bit back loathe
for his thick-headedness. “You used to hear me. I’m not sure—”

“Saylor, I refuse to leave on a bad note again. I’ve left twice,
wait, three times from a bad spot. I won’t do it.”

“Maybe it’s our fate.”

“And since when do you believe in fate?”

“When have I not?”

“Who am I even speaking to right now? Where’s my Saylor?
The Saylor who forges her own path, come what may?”

I let out a quick yell, a quite unladylike grunt, and tossed my
fists in the air. “Do you not see I’m losing this battle inside of
myself? Do you not see I’ve got nowhere to go? I’ve got nothing to
give. I don’t care about the things I used to dream for. Now I dream
of blood stains. Now I dream of falling into darkness. My losses
outweigh any wins I’ve ever had. My clothes don’t fit. My knees
always hurt. And I can’t train. And I can’t run. And I can’t be who I
used to want to be, because I tried, and it ripped me apart. I cannot
face the darkness again.” The tear spilled out of my eye, running
down the side of my nose, dragging a river of black mascara with
it. I didn’t care.

Tucker sprang up from the bench, wrapping his arms
around me. His coffee scent devoured the hunger and wrenched
hope. Whatever spices of cinnamon or leather or mountain forests
he’d used earlier, bound the splinters of fear. He held me, resting
his cheek against my ragamuffin hair.

“All I want,” I whispered, “is to sit on a porch with you,
watching a sunset together.”

He swallowed, breath ragged. One of his hands buried into
the back of my hair. “We can find a sunset. That I can do.”
He laced his fingers through mine and we wound over to the
truck. He parked us by the small pond over the hill from Fort Story,
and we sat in the back of the bed, legs dangling over the gravel,
while stars dropped into their places above the trees.

We didn’t say much.

The stars didn’t either.

But Tucker held my hand the whole time, even as he walked
me to the door of the house, and kissed my cheek. I ached for more.
I wished he’d said less. His eyes, oh those eyes, they shone with
questions and unstated opinions.

That night behind my closed eyelids, black pools of wide
oceans quivered with unblinking eyes and hollowed cheeks.

Somewhere someone laughed, but it silenced with a quick crack.
​
Somewhere in the deep forests, monsters lurked, snapping and
flapping their vicious wings, heaving fire at those who’d charge
against them.

**********
Grab your own copy of EARTHSHINE next Tuesday, October 9th!