What if we didn't measure life in years or days or months or pounds or inches or dollars? Imagine if we measured in deep breaths and hope and smiles and hugs and satisfaction and realized potential?
What if mankind's existence and success was based on something other than making money or having the newest tech? What if it was about knowing the song of the seas, seeing the colors of the sunsets or the trees in the autumn, or tracing the path of the stars, or merging with the heart and mind of the great Creator? Perhaps, and indeed, it is.
Symbols do not accurately display sense and touch and the way your heart lifts to music. Numbers, strokes of a pen, do not convey the beauty in a glint of sunlight tumbling across the pages of a worn novel. Numbers are boundaries. Numbers are limits. Numbers are the accounted for, known evidence. Numbers are not possibility. Possibility cannot be accurately predicted or stored or weighed.
Sometimes those reports come in, filed away, showing numbers and lists and detailed accounts of What Has Been or What Is or What Lacks.
Find a way to laugh in the face of lacking. That’s how you fight dread. That’s how you wrangle unsatisfied expectation. During my third year of college, I spent a lot of time running. I worked out almost every day and I ran every day. I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was going. I ran to flee the doubt, I ran to escape what I called The Hope Monster. Terrible name, I know, because I’ve never said the name out loud before, because how ridiculous and lame does it sound? Who is afraid of hope? Who is afraid of possibility? Oh my friend, it’s a masked fear. It's not the hope we dread, it's the darkness behind it. At that point in time I was realizing I didn’t know what I wanted To Do with my life, who I wanted to be with, and in fact, didn’t know who I wanted to be. (I’m still figuring that out.) As I ran, I fled the unknown. But you cannot outrun the unknown. It’s always there. Fortunately, the unknown does not have to be scary. The unknown does not have to be a dizzying whirl of delightful, uncategorized options.
We rage against chaos, against fear, against lacking. We fight with shields of faith, with a bright smile founded in love, and supported by hope. We pierce the darkness with love, with knowledge of One who loves, and who makes a way for light.
Train hard today to fight the battles you need to win tomorrow. You don’t know when they will come, but they are coming, so hustle. In fact, you don’t know if tomorrow even exists. So: hustle. Now. With whatever tools you possess.
Grit cannot be weighed or measured. Kindness flutters freely, weightless and yet encompassing each soul brought to this realm. Our finite minds cannot contain it but we can control the portion we give to others. And it too cannot be priced, or proportioned, or marginalized.
The numbers don't matter. The numbers don't make a soul free. There's one number to keep track of, and that number is spelled Y-O-U. You do your freakin’ best. You keep trying. You work for good. You believe in the good you can do. You trust the omnipotent Creator, so vast we cannot comprehend his size or merit or reasoning, and walk as his treasure. He gave you life, which is the most valuable thing we have. We cannot originate it. Only the great Creator can. You, living creature, are a rare commodity in this enormous universe. With every breath, every blink, every swallow, every rippling beat of that tenacious, miraculous heart, you are an asset. You are a priceless addition to the cosmos. A delight. The whole cheesecake. With the sprinkles on top.
So the fight is against the doubt. The darkness ebbs in, marauding as numbers and limitation and broken gadgetry. In the same way you cannot contain sunlight, so too hope saturates. It floods the earth, in every bright smile. All it takes is one. One.
And one by one by one into infinity we unleash the torrent.
“The world needs you right now,” the Commander said. “It’s time to put all those experiments to work.”
“Seems like the world doesn’t want our help,” I bargained, recalling the glares and shouts.
“They may think that for the moment. But when Breame releases his army upon them, we’ll be waiting. That’s what we do. Humanity will always be worth fighting for. Individuals exist who choose good, who live simple lives amidst the turmoil and corruption and hate. Surely they merit defense. We fight for them.”
“And what about those who choose to be plain outright mean? Unappreciative? Who throw stones and yell at us?”
“We stay the course,” the Commander sighed. “That’s when we dig in and follow the directive. Place the mission first. Never accept defeat.”
I nodded and joined in. “Never quit. Never leave a fallen comrade.” I tacked on the additional condition. “Fight for the man standing next to you.”
The Commander blinked in approval, providing a simple nod of affirmation in his firm look. “Pain will come and go. The trials, the hardship, the sweat, it all cycles around. It’s short. It’s the dirt in the mountain. The fire. But you, sticking it out, you’re the diamond being etched. The gold smelted. Your efforts will last. Quitting will not. I’ve always known you to hang in — now is the time to use that grit and audacity to lead others into the unknown.”
~ Excerpt from Indelible ~
(Insurrection trilogy, Book 3)
Whenever I write, life ebbs into the themes. Hopefully my readers find multi-layered stories when they dive in with me, and with each reading, find a new little gift. With the books releasing and as I’ve tossed my gut into the wide world of social media marketing, I’ve found more struggle than victory. I’ve discovered a new horrible side of myself, one who is unabashedly jealous, who cries just way too much, and who can’t see the long side of the field. I don’t like her. She cray.
But in the muddy puddles as of late, I’ve also found a wealth of freedom, in finding some simple truth. "Tis a gift to be simple. Tis a gift to be free" (Joseph Brackett). So let’s share this simple truth I’ve found, in hopes that you may dwell richly as well:
Whatever you crave is what you need to create.
Whatever you need, give away to others.
Whatever you are not willing to give up is what will drive you mad. In giving away the Things you want most, you find they return in ways you'd never expect. Do you need peace? Offer peace. Do you need a hug? Give one. Do you need to learn how to do something better? Teach someone what you do know. Need encouragement? Give that away like water at a marathon.
But do not give in order to get. Don't give pridefully. Lavish. Release. Extend. Shower upon others the breezes of hope. Reflect grace.
I may not be able to make it into any hall of fame, but I would love to help someone else get there. Maybe I'm not strong enough, but maybe I can help someone else be. What a gift that would be, to be a part of the training of heroes.
I'm a background person. Always have been, always will be. Ain't no life of the party over here. Introverts unite, amiright?! So to force this dream I have upon others has been a dreadfully painful nightmare. But I'm waking up. Oh, wake up, sleepers! Don’t just believe in yourself, but believe in the work you can and need to do.
Fight in the name of the man standing beside you. In so doing you raise the arms of giants, and together extend life across the kingdom.
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